what is it with "Southern Gentlemen" scratching their croth...

... when they talk to you? The first few I discounted as possibly having some bizarre itch attacks just when I'm asking for directions but it's getting to be too often (this time was in an upscale old style of men's clothier store); is it supposed to be some subtle hint? (it's nothing but...) D.

I keep forgeting where I am...

went to the local liquor store (small Southern town) and serenely asked for Kirschwasser for cherry clafoutis, white peach puree and Prosecco for Bellinis... the store owner behind the counter looked more and more puzzled until he stopped faking interest and exploded into a rolling laughter..."Lady, you are not gonna find any of that stuff here... ha ha ha..."

Delia

P.S. the guy looked like I made his day...

I need a new spellchecker...

I've been lazily using G. for a spellchecker for too long. Worked fine until today when, not remembering if there was a double "z" or double "r" or both in "bizarre" I just asked him to spell it for me and he obliged, apparently dead serious: "t-i-t-s p-u-s-s-y a-s-s"...

Delia

P.S. yes, we both rolled laughing -- I guess I'll keep him as my personal jester :) D.

G's calves continue to get rave reviews from both genders

female (new to the group): "oh, my... G.'s got some of those Popeye calves!"

rough looking guys hanging out at the mall:"better not be messing with *that* guy!"

(nothing like overhearing these things to make me feel safe)

Delia

P.S. maybe I should wait until he falls asleep and claim them as "MINE!" :)

the perfect mother-in-law!

Mom wishing G. "happy hunting!" at Frye's electronics. D.="Mom! you just don't say such things these days!" (I guess she hasn't gotten the memo on how people no longer buy things just to be buying...)

Mom=" now, now, Delia... he's going to have to get *something*!" Way to encourage him to buy all sorts of more or less useless stuff that just ends up cluttering the media closet...

Delia

P.S. frankly, I was hoping he would be going just for the entertainment value...D.

won the wet T-shirt contest!

made the mistake to go out to where G. was watering the plants with a hose and got thoroughly soaked
(was only able to get away when G. declared me "the winner of the wet T-shirt contest!")

Delia

P.S. Are we ever going to grow up? I hope not... D.

I'll take a messy laptop over a fried one anytime!

G. has gotten overzealous again and soaked the hell out of the screen of my laptop in cleaning solution. When I brought it to his attention that the stuff was dripping off the laptop he tried to hurriedly wipe it off... just to push it into the screen somehow...No, I don't feel any better knowing he "was just trying to help" -- do I really look that helpless? D.